Moral Value Meal Photo Album

Courtesy of the great Kim Moscaritolo, here are some pictures from the most recent NERO FIDDLED show, Moral Value Meal, which premiered earlier this month in a too-too-limited engagement.

Ellie Dvorkin and Corey Moosa as a young evangelical couple, looking for the right music to keep them out of the mood.

PHYLLIS: But I can’t stand commercial radio stations.
TROY: I know what you mean. It seems like every popular song these days is about...sin.
PHYLLIS: If only there was romantic music virtuous people could enjoy!

Enter Noah Diamond and Amanda Sisk: "Well, look no further! Just send for our exclusive CD of evangelical love songs -- a little thing we like to call For the Love of God." It features such faith-based hits as "I Wanna Abstain With You," "Don’t Touch Me There," and "Married in the Eyes of the Lord."

I wanna abstain with you
I look in your eyes and I gotta wait
I wanna abstain with you
It’s only our hundred and first date...

Don’t touch me there!
It’s for procreation, not pleasure
Don’t touch me there!
Don’t violate my sacred treasure...!

Roe v. Wade: As two women (Ellie Dvorkin and Kim Moscaritolo) briefly review the erosion of abortion rights since 1973, a third (Amanda Sisk) shows us what little is left.

Abortionland: Ellie Dvorkin and Amanda Sisk as the Abortionettes, Brian Louis Hoffman as Mr. Abortion, Kim Moscaritolo and Trixze Smith as two women learning about "the wonderful world of abortion." This sketch is a parody of the way the far right thinks the left feels about this issue.

MEG: Wow, Patty, you look sensational! Is it collagen implants? A great new diet?
PATTY: No –- I just had an abortion! And I’ve never felt better!

Pharmacist for Life: Corey Moosa as Dwindling Medicaid, Brian Louis Hoffman as "your state senator, Senator Bob Senator," Trixze Smith as Polly, and Ellie Dvorkin as a pharmacist who refuses to fill Polly's prescription for emergency contraception: "That would be no different than stabbing a two-year-old in the heart with an ice pick."

The Creature: Once again, the NERO FIDDLED cast does battle with the sinister creature of evil.

It came out of the darkness
It came out of the night
I’ve never been so terrified before
It bites the heads off bunnies
It tried to eat my house
We’ve got to stop the creature
This is war

It lives in a cave
It lies in the mud
The only thing it knows
is that it must have blood
It laughs when you cry
It knows no shame
I don’t know what it is
but I know its name
is Cheney.

Corporations Are People Too. A soaring pop ballad about corporate personhood.

’Cause don’t you think
a corporation cries sometimes?
Needs to share, be held
Shareholders know it’s true
and stockbrokers all agree
That a commercial entity
must be free --
Corporations are people too.

The Armor You Have: Noah Diamond as Donald Rumsfeld, Corey Moosa as General Peter Pace.

RUMSFELD: General, let me tell you something – you could have all the armor in the world on you, and still get blown up.
PACE: I hadn’t thought of that.
RUMSFELD: Look on the bright side. You could get shot while you’re putting your armor on.
PACE: I see.
RUMSFELD: Whereas if you weren’t so busy putting on all that armor, maybe you would’ve seen the guy.

Kim Moscaritolo as the intrepid reporter Mopsy Jimenez-Tippington.

The McPatton Thing: Corey Moosa as Archie McPatton, right wing talk show host, with his special guest, conservative columnist Amy Keeler (Amanda Sisk): "I think we should kill all the Democrats. That was a joke."

McPATTON: Now let’s go to Ahmed in Brooklyn. Ahmed, you’re on my Thing. Hello. You’re on the air.
AHMED: Hi, Archie, I –-
McPATTON: Shut up, Ahmed!

An aspiring Capitol Hill aide named Dwight (Brian Louis Hoffman) gets a horrifying lesson in government from Senator Rick Santorum (Noah Diamond) and friends.

Talking to the Pictures: Noah Diamond as Richard Nixon, Brian Louis Hoffman as George W. Bush, and Corey Moosa as a presidential portrait of uncertain identity.

NIXON: I want you to remember one thing, George –- if the president does it, that means it is not illegal.
BUSH: If the president does it, that means it is not illegal.
NIXON: But remember, it's bad if you get caught.

Culture of Life: With Laura (Amanda Sisk) and Barney in tow, George W. Bush (Brian Louis Hoffman) comes rushing back from a Crawford vacation to stop a grieving husband (Corey Moosa) from removing his wife's feeding tube. His wife (in the wheelchair) is clearly in a persistent vegetative state, but her mother (Ellie Dvorkin) refuses to say goodbye: "Look, she's smiling at me!"

BUSH: She looks pretty good to me.
HUSBAND: You can’t be serious.
BUSH: No, she does. Excellent muscle tone.

Finale.

God bless America, God bless the children
God bless the flag that flies, oh say can you see
God bless America, God bless our values
Bless Kenneth Lay and David Kay and Tom DeLay
God bless the G.O.P.

We love our tax cuts and we love our horses
We love the Indians for their generosity
We love our children and we love our handguns
No sodomites or men in tights or civil rights
God bless the G.O.P.

Finale.

America’s speaking
The White House is leaking
Why are all the Democrats asleep at the wheel?
There’s no way to reach him
You’ve got to impeach him

Isn’t the economy a moral value
National security a moral value
Cleaner energy a moral value
Getting out of poverty a moral value
Dealing with catastrophe a moral value
Electoral integrity a moral value
Accountability a moral value
Right to privacy a moral value
What’s with all the bribery a moral value
How can you decide for me a moral value
Come on don’t you wanna see my moral value
Sit down and order me
A moral value meal!

Noah